It was a great time of watching players develop their skills and their character. It seemed that every week they gained new skills, new plays and new hockey-judgement. The pressure cooker of competition and lots of ice time combined to drive the players to new levels of performance.
Even as they developed, it was apparent that they still had a lot to learn.
One example was when we were on the receiving end of a bad call. An official would see only part of an incident, and we would end up with a penalty that put a key player in the box for a few minutes (and in the world of high school hockey, a few minutes can make a big difference). The reaction of the team was intense! They wanted to win! It wasn't fair! Take it back! Do it over! Make it right! It was the other guy! Stupid official!
I didn't mind their emotional reaction - it was a natural part of the game - a result of all the intensity and effort that they were exerting. What I did mind was the way it affected their performance. For the next few minutes after the call, all they could think about was the inequity of the situation. They would lose their edge and their focus. Simple plays would fall apart, passes would be missed, checks botched. All because they couldn't get past the penalty!
Have you ever done this in your work life?
Have you let a missed opportunity or a bad situation affect your ability to perform? Sometimes we let resentments build up over the years. And then some event triggers a much stronger reaction than we had expected from ourselves. And in addition to the embarrassment and shame, we let our performance slip as we replay the event over and over in our heads.
Perhaps someone else was promoted when you thought you should get the position. Or you have an over-achieving, upward-managing boss who has no regard for the team that makes him successful.
Whatever the situation, once you begin thinking of yourself as a "victim", your ability to perform is impaired.
Life isn't fair, and many elements of our work life aren't fair. It's unusual to have a great company and a great management team to work for (treasure it when it happens) - so we are bound to be disappointed and to take a few "bad calls".
The key (in my life) of "getting over it" is "letting go of it". I've offended and let down so many people that it would be incredibly egocentric to assume that I have the right not to be offended or disappointed. Additionally, God's mercy has provided me unmerited grace. Who, then, am I that I should hold a grudge?
So, no matter how you process forgiveness, in the meantime I'll tell you the same thing I used to tell my players after a bad call:
Shut up and skate!!!
